Mom Talks: Loneliness

Hey there, hi there, ho there!

Welcome back to the blog, I'm so glad you are here!

Today we are having a bit of a mom talk. I know not all of you are moms, but maybe this will give you some insight into how your mom friends may feel sometimes. If you are a mom, then you probably know exactly how this feels.

There are so many things I didn't expect out of motherhood. I didn't expect the immense love, or the never-ending exhaustion, or constantly just picking up stuff. I also didn't expect the deep feelings of loneliness I experience some days. It's a kind of loneliness you can only experience as a mom.

I don't really communicate with adults from 7 am to 4:30 pm, my entire day is spent serving and caring for little humans whom I love so much! I would not trade it for anything. However, little toddlers don't offer much in the way of caring about my thoughts, feelings, or opinions. They no doubt love me, but they can't communicate, ask me how I am, or what I'm thinking about. Which means I swim inside my head alone all day, and it can be hard.

I also feel isolated. I want friends, I want to go to the park with another mama and her kiddos, or grab brunch with a girlfriend once in a while. But I have no idea where I meet anyone. I go to Walmart, Safeway, and the Dollar Tree, church, and occasionally Hobby Lobby or something. I don't even know where to begin. We've been at our church for just over 2 months, and I haven't had the opportunity to attend any events or meet people yet. When I did have the opportunity, I got COVID. It's discouraging to say the least.

While some days I do cry because I feel so alone, and it is something I'm struggling with...I'm working to change my perspective. I want to see loneliness not as a struggle, but an opportunity.

Loneliness as an opportunity...for what? Here are a few things.

1 // To Find New Things To Enjoy

Instead of being sad that I feel alone, I'm looking for new things to enjoy. I'm looking for new books to enjoy, taking advantage of warm weather for walks, working out more, baking, etc... Maybe I am given this time alone as a gift to learn about myself, what I enjoy individually apart from my family.

2 // To Be Forced Out of My Comfort Zone

If I'm lonely, I have to do something about it. A friend isn't just going to show up one day. I have to get out of my comfort zone and pursue friendship. I find it extremely hard to talk to people since the pandemic and since I've stayed home all day for the past 15 months. I have to break out of this shell that's grown around me, get uncomfortable, and talk to people. (I haven't yet...but I'm working on it).

3 // To Rest

Friendship takes energy, and as a mom of twins, energy is something I don't have a lot of! Maybe this isn't a time of loneliness, but an opportunity to rest more since I need it more.

4 // To Be Still

Loneliness is an opportunity to draw closer to God. Since I am not busy with activities and socializing, I can be still and listen to the Lord. I can pour my heart out to Him instead of to a friend. I can read my Bible more. An absence of friends is an opportunity to sit with my Father.

5 // To Be More Intentional with the Friends I Do Have

I currently don't have local friends, but I do have friends who live in other places. Instead of being said I can't go out to coffee, I can be intentional with my friends. I can text and call them, plan trips to see them, write them notes, put together some fun mail for them. It's not that I don't have friends, so I need to cherish the friends I do have!

These are some great things to remember in seasons of loneliness, and it won't necessarily make the hard part go away right away, and that's okay. This is just a season. It will pass, and one day you and I will have sweet friendships, monthly girl dates, and play dates planned. While we are waiting for this season to pass, we can find the good in it!

When this season does pass, we will cherish the community we have even more because we know what it is like to be lonely.

If you are feeling lonely...send me a DM or an email (coffeewithkaydee@gmail.com) and we can chat!