Diary No. 9

Hey there hi there ho there!

This week was heavy, and kind of hard. I felt like a failure as a mom all week. You know, just one of those weeks. It was pretty gloomy all week, which I think contributed to my bummed outedness. I still think I have mild waves of PPD and anxiety. It's not like it was in the beginning, but I do think it's still affecting me more than I realize sometimes. I think that I was feeling extremely overwhelmed and worn out from mom duties. I realized I hadn't had a few hours to myself to just *be* in months. On Saturday I told Josh that I needed to go out for a bit by myself. I came back feeling so refreshed, calm, and patient. It was a huge reminder to me that in order to be a good, patient mama I need to have a little bit of time to just be me. I try to take moments in everyday to be me (through writing, working out, blogging). Sometimes it isn't enough and I need a solid chunk of a couple of hours where I don't have to worry about a little one waking from a nap, or unloading and loading two toddlers and a stroller to go out. I struggling with feeling guilty for needing a break, but it's not that I need a break from my kids. I need a break from mom duties like wiping buts and telling little boys for the thousandth time to not climb on the kitchen table. If you are a mama, remember it's okay to take a smidge of time to yourself!

While it was kind of a hard week for me, we still had a lot of bright, happy spots! Those are the moments that I'm holding on to and remembering as I head into a new week!

I shared this picture last week, but it is so stinkin' sweet I had to share it again. My little babies are boys now!

Delicious lemon chicken and rice I made last Monday. SO GOOD! I shared the recipe in my newsletter this month. Make sure you subscribe so you don't miss next month ;)

Snack time = the best time.

They climbed up on their boxes and watched the trash truck on Thursday morning without prompting. The obsession has begun. I ain't gonna complain about free entertainment!

The sweetest moments moments between these boys always happened when we get to go see the other brother after they wake up from their nap!

Book obsessed still, and I hope it stays this way!

New summer clothes making them look super fly and grown up!

a *touch* of spring in the house!

I was SO excited to see a lot of my tulips popping up! I didn't know if they would grow but it's making me so happy to see them popping up in my flower bed.

This little corner in my kitchen made me so happy one evening all lit up!

A glimpse of my "mommy morning." A to go coffee (of course!) and a trip to the thrift store! Found some new glasses for a steal!

I made it my goal to cook a more intricate and challenging dinner every Saturday to stretch my skills! I cooked homemade fried chicken in the airfryer this week! Thinking about sharing the recipe in my next newsletter.

Holding the hand of the love of my life in the car! I love him so.

We took the boys for their first stroller free walk this weekend. They were SO excited to run free down the road and it wore them straight out! We actually got to the end up the street which I didn't expect. They laughed and and screamed the entire time. It's such a joy to see them adventure and explore and learn!

That was our week! I hope that you had a great week, and if not, I hope the next one is much better!