Asa + Oli: Month 6

Six. Months. Old.

I truly cannot believe my boys are 6 months old. Every moment with them has been the best part of my life. I am actually struggle with words this month because I am just...so grateful. When I was a little girl, I always played mommy. I would get my baby doll, pack a diaper bag, grab my plastic stroller and head to the staircase. I would sit down with my baby, "breastfeeding," pretending we were sitting in church. Others dreamed of military, of teaching, of being a nurse, or a pilot, or an athlete. I dreamed of being a mother. I’ve literally been living my dream for 6 months and I cannot be more thankful, happy, blessed. Not every moment in the last 6 months has been perfect. As a mom I have struggled. When postpartum depression began settling in at 3 weeks postpartum and the thoughts I was having terrified me, thoughts I hadn’t had in years, it was very hard. When postpartum anxiety continued hitting me like waves in a tsunami and I almost had a panic attack going to the doctors or when I saw a mess in the kitchen, it was very hard. When I was sick with mastitis it was hard. When I had to peel my body from the sheets and sleepily go nurse a crying baby for the thousandth time that night it was hard. Never mind the self-doubt because I have no idea what I’m doing and the deep seeded mom guilt that I am not giving enough attention equally to both babies, especially when I decide to take a moment for myself (even though I KNOW that’s not true and each baby is loved so deeply and given all the attention that can be given, and I deserve a moment or two to breathe). But, I look at those precious eyes and see that gummy smile. I hear their deep sighs as they sleep peacefully. I watch them learn how to roll, how to hold objects, how to crinkle a book and wave a rattle to hear the noise. I watch them take bites of new foods and spit it out in shock or eagerly lean forward for more. I hear them giggle as they feel the rush of air from a blanket falling towards their faces. I kiss their tears away when they cry because I left the room and they feel like they are so alone in our “giant” living room. I hold them close after they wake in the night to a dark room wondering where mama is. I hear them suckle and swallow as they nurse from my body yet again and thank God I can nourish them. I watch them splash in the tub as I gently wipe their eyes and ears and neck. I hold their chubby, dimpled hands as they stand with pride as if they can do it all on their own. I kiss their fat little feet and watch them laugh as I pretend to eat their toes. Every hard moment, even if I am still sitting deep in the midst of it, fades away as soon as I look at them.

I am whole and fulfilled in this new roll as their mother. The joy and thankfulness to God is so deep in my soul that there are no words to express it. Thank you God, for 6 months with my angels. The boys have grown SO MUCH this month. Their personalities are shining through brilliantly and I love each aspect of them! They are at such a fun age, laughing and giggling and babbling and squealing constantly. They are so busy and curious! Wiggling and rolling around, watching our every move. I love watching the difference in Asa and Oliver, seeing glimpses of who they are deep inside is so cool. Oliver is always on the move, very "talkative," and goofy. Asa is laidback, has a generally quieter voice though he still likes to talk a lot, and is sweet. I think the most significant thing they have done this past month is that they started eating solid foods! It was so fun watching them taste food for the first time, and they have gotten pretty good at eating! Asa was very hesitant at first, while Oliver has been eager from the beginning. Asa just recently started realizing that food is food, and it tastes good, and eagerly eats almost anything we give him!

Here is a quick recap of facts about my boys from the past month! Oliver: -found his feet -rolled from back to tummy -tried solids- there isn’t anything he doesn’t like! -is working on two teeth that are on the cusp of popping through -is soooo close to sitting unassisted -hand eye coordination is getting really good -loves when mama reads and sings -peek a boo is our favorite game -is very ticklish -is constantly moving!

Asa: -found his feet -tried solids-doesn’t like yogurt or blueberries -is working on two teeth that are juuust about to pop through -has found his voice, and likes to scream! -is sooooo close to sitting unassisted -hand eye coordination is getting really good -loves when mama reads and sings -peek a boo is our favorite game -is super ticklish -is content to lay on the floor and hold his puppy

I’m so happy to see all the things they have learned and I am so excited to see them become who they are so wonderfully! I am so excited to see what this next month holds as they learn even more! I have a strong feeling Oliver will be crawling in the next month and Asa is sure to roll over from back to tummy any day now!

Until next month, time slow down, just a bit please!