A Month Off of Social Media
Hey there hi there ho there!
In my last post I briefly mentioned a hiatus from social media. I wanted to talk about that in a little more detail because I feel like it is an important thing to talk about. It is something that so many struggle with today, and it needs to be addressed. So here we are! Let’s talk about social media, why we all need breaks, and maybe why we should ditch it altogether? (Do we have the guts?!)
Why I Took a Break
What prompted this hiatus in the first place was that I simply felt called to do so. I had a day a few months back where I didn’t go on my phone except to communicate with family, and in that day of mental silence God spoke to my heart (through the Holy Spirit, not audibly). He told me that social media is not what he has for me, that there is more, and that I need to step away. It was hard for me to hear that from Him and just surrender. It took me a few months but on Christmas Eve I decided to delete everything and take a break.
In those months of trying to decide if I should take a complete break or just try to limit myself, I realized I have a REALLY unhealthy relationship with my phone. I had a PROBLEM…dare I say an addiction? At the very least it was a bad habit. It consumed my thoughts way too much. What should I post? When should I post it? Will that get likes? Will this make me popular? I honestly feel ashamed and childish admitting that. But it’s true. I had a Facebook account at age 11 and an Instagram account by age 14. I spent so much time on there and didn’t know what it was actually doing to my brain. In those very moldable brain years I had grown accustomed to posting and scrolling and over sharing. So much so that it became the way I thought. Yeesh.
Because it was such a long time bad habit, I spent way too much time on social media. Even as a busy mom of twins. I set up long ago for my iPhone to update me weekly of my screen time averages. Every Sunday I would get a notification and it would tell me I was spending on average 3-4 hours a DAY on social media. Something that is not my job and something that does not positively impact my life was taking 4 hours out of my day. During those 4 hours a day I was spending on social media I found myself comparing constantly.
"Did I look like her? I wish I could afford to get my nails done all the time like her. Wow! She looks so good. I wish I looked like her. Ugh, how come I can’t style my house like that? What can I do to make my home more aesthetic? Are they going to judge me for my ugly carpet? My acne is so bad compared to hers. She seems like she has it all together, why am I such a mess? I don’t have enough. I'm not enough."
Those were real thoughts I was having. I hardly noticed, but Satan planted a deep seed of discontent in my heart and it was seeping into my attitude and perspective of who God is and who he made me to be.
My day to day thoughts were too much consumed with social media and my feelings around it. I truly feel foolish sharing this. It isn’t an easy thing to admit as a grown up woman who is a wife, a mother. I shouldn’t struggle with this! I should be better. I found myself wishing I was one of those people who could just live their life and not share about it. I wished I was one of those people who, if you knew me, you knew what was going on with me. And if you didn’t know me, you didn’t know my life. I wished I was more private. I wished my thoughts were different. I wished I had better boundaries.
The Lord said, KAYDEE. YOU CAN BE THAT PRIVATE PERSON. YOU CAN HAVE A DIFFERENT THOUGHT PATTERN. YOU CAN HAVE BOUNDARIES.
So I deleted Instagram and Facebook. And the affects of not being on social media all day we’re quick and fruitful and relieving and I have no regrets.
What I Learned
I learned a lot during that break that I pray sticks with me as a I move forward.
The first thing I learned is that I can think more clearly. When I’m not being constantly bombarded with new information from a screen my brain has freedom to think more! Because of this I feel more creative. I feel like I can write better and create more because my brain isn’t filled with things other people have created. It’s as if I was listening to really really loud music and I couldn’t think about anything BUT the music. Now that I’ve turned it down I have room for other more creative thoughts.
While off of social media I also learned that I am more productive and focused when I haven’t wasted 15 minutes scrolling or posting a reel. That 15 minutes is now spent doing something more productive. I can fully focus on that task at hand, complete it in less time, and do MORE because my phone isn’t in my way. It’s kind of obvious but the less time I spent on my phone the more time I spent doing better things. Including actually resting mentally, reading more, and just enjoying watching my children live and learn.
This one is still out for debate, but I feel like I have more energy. I feel like the freed up mind space allows me to have more energy for important things because I’m not being drained by information overload and constant comparison.
Over all? I learned that I’m a better person off of social media and that it’s benefits are few, if any at all.
What now?
That being said, am I back? I still don’t know.
I love sharing my life with family and friends who live in other places. I love seeing THEIR life as well. But is it worth it? Especially since I don’t have a healthy relationship with Social Media, is it worth sacrificing a good mental state in order to share photos with friends far away? I think not. While I do have the app downloaded again, I am setting boundaries in place so that I don’t fall back into the bad habit of scrolling. I am actually setting boundaries on how much I am on my phone in general. I am back in a way because I DO enjoy social media. I am just praying that this time around I use it better. I'll keep you updated.
Here are my boundaries—not to brag or tell you what to do, but if you are in the same boat these boundaries may give you an idea of where you can start setting boundaries.
No phone for the first hour of the day
No scrolling while kids are awake
Put phone in bedroom for family time: from dinner to bedtime.
Only use social media in the evenings + Naptime
Only post uplifting content, not centered on myself.
Sundays are no phone days.
A week long break from my phone every quarter.
Tips for Breaking the Habit
Those are some boundaries, but maybe your like me and you desperately need to break the scrolling habit and just can’t. Here are a few tips that I used to help me break the habit.
1 // Know Your Why
Why are you taking a month off? Just to do it? To find clarity? To find peace? To focus on more important things? It’s important to know exactly why you are taking a break and what you hope to learn during that break. Even go as far as to write it down. This will help so much when you are staring at your phone thinking about logging in via safari (which I did in the first week…). It will be a great reminder and eventually you won’t have to think so hard about it.
2 // Completely Delete + Block the App
It won’t help to just log out. You have to completely delete all social media apps from your phone and iPad, and then set up a block. That way if you want to get back on, you have to go through a lot of steps to do so and maybe you will think twice about it.
3 // Replace Scrolling with Another, Healthier Habit
For me, scrolling is a time waster and gap filler. Instead of just trying to not scroll, I made the intention to do some thing else instead of scrolling. It could be coloring, journaling, cleaning, walking, reading, exercising, baking. Replace the time you spent scrolling with something else, and instead of feeling like you lost something, you will feel like you gained something. By deleting SM Apps, you do gain something: more time to do things that are productive and uplifting.
4 // Make a Commitment to the Lord
I think sometimes we think that these parts of our lives (social media, hobbies, phones) are so small and insignificant that they aren’t worthy of prayer. The Lord cares about every nook and cranny of our heart, life, and mind. Commit verbally to the Lord to break the habit of social media scrolling and the Lord will help you. He will bless you, and He will teach you during the time you gain from stopping the scroll.
5 // Remember This:
Lastly, when you are tempted to mindlessly scroll, remember this: nothing, I mean NOTHING, on your phone is more important than what is in your real life. Nothing.
Maybe you aren’t a person who struggles to put your phone down (and I wish I could be like you) but maybe you are idolizing something else in your life. If you are, I hope this inspires you to really evaluate what your idols are and give them over to the Lord.
Thanks for reading, I’ll talk to you Saturday!
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