21 Things I've Learned by 21

December 17th is my 21st birthday! Birthdays are such fun to me, I love making a big deal over it and making people feel special on their birthday. In turn I like to celebrate my own birthday! Now, 21 isn't really significant to me because drinking isn't really a big deal. Also I'm not a fan of weird numbers (I like rounding by fives) so 21 isn't really exciting (25 will be nice and rounded!). However, I am a sentimental person through and through and love reflecting on the past, seeing how far I've come, and thinking about what I want to change going forward in life. I think it is important to take certain times of the year (the end of the year, or a birthday) to reflect. It is good to see how good life really is, how gracious the Lord is to us. We can get stuck in the now, what is wrong now, what we don't have now. We can't always see the way that God is working in our hearts, grooming us and teaching us, but hindsight is 20/20. When we reflect on the past (notice I said reflect, not dwell) God opens our eyes to the things He was doing in and through us that we did not see in the midst of it.

For today's post, approaching my birthday, I wanted to share 21 things I learned by 21. I have been reflecting a lot lately and thought of some things that might be helpful/encouraging to you!

(not all are deep and meaningful, but still lessons learned).

ONE // It Does Get Better

15 year old me did not know this. But it does get better. Depression can be conquered, and you can find good things in life. The bad spot you are in today isn't going to last your lifetime. Especially when you put in the work with God, everything gets better.

TWO // Procrastination Can Be Beaten

I think that a lot of people my age think procrastination can't be controlled. It totally can. I see friends in school pulling all nighters, unnecessarily. You can be productive and not put things off forever. I still procrastinate, but I've learned ways to just stand up and get things done.

THREE // You Can Plan, But That Doesn't Mean Life Goes According to that Plan

I love planning everything, my days, my weekends, my life. However, planning doesn't mean that your life will be the way you thought! There are always surprising turns and unmet expectations. You really have to learn (especially as an adult when life gets really complicated) to roll with the punches and just enjoy what does happen, letting go of what you think should happen.

FOUR // Time Really Does Fly, Whether You're Having Fun or Not

One major thing I have learned in 21 years is that time flies. So quickly. It just gets faster and faster, too. Whether you are having a good, happy time or not. Which is a good sign, the bad times will fly by and seem so far away! It also means that you have to cherish and cling to the good times, they will be gone before you know it!

FIVE // Life isn't a Race Against Other People

This is something major I've learned this year specifically. I even contemplated writing an entire post about it. Life isn't a race, people the same age as you will be in different stages constantly. Ahead, behind, and right there with you. It isn't a race to see who does this first or that first. I have found I am pretty competitive, and the fact that friends will be graduating college soon, and I won't be, is a hard pill to swallow. I'm not racing to the same finish line as others, and that is normal + okay.

SIX // Patience is Necessary in All Parts of Life

Patience is something we all know we should have, but it is something I have realized needs to be a characteristic we always work on. Patience with people, with guidance, with a new stage you are looking forward too. Be patient. It'll all happen in time. I've learned this especially working with two small children for going on two years, life takes patience.

SEVEN // Life is Bigger Than You

There is so much more going on than just your little life. Selfishness is something I'm fighting and praying will become less of a struggle. God has a big, major plan that is bigger than just your life and my life. You are fully apart of that plan, but the plan isn't about you. It is all about Him and giving Him the glory. This is something I'm still learning every day. When you make life about you, that is when the struggles get harder. When you make it about Him (which I am still working on and will be until I reach the gates of heaven) the struggles seem less significant.

EIGHT // Making Your Bed Everyday Makes Life Productive

I started making my bed everyday a few years ago. It is actually a great way to start the day. It makes your room feel clean. It makes you feel put together. Make your bed E V E R Y D A Y.

NINE // Don't Take Life So Seriously

I used to take life so seriously. I'd get offended over everything and I work myself into a meltdown over ridiculous things. I wish I could go back and tell myself to just chill. Have fun with life, don't get embarrassed. Have fun. Don't be so serious all the time! Lighten UP. The guy who got mad at you for tapping your door against his vehicle (without leaving a scratch), just laugh it off. Know how to chill out.

TEN // There is Victory

Ah, sweet victory. I have faced some sin battles in my few years (and know I face many more) but one thing I know, there is VICTORY. There is overcoming. God is for you, there is power in His name. Whatever you are fighting, there is sweet sweet victory.

ELEVEN // I Can't Do It All By Myself

We weren't created to go about life alone. God created Adam AND Eve, to work together. If I am struggling with something, the people I love are there to help me. I can't figure out life alone either, I need to lean fully on God and His guidance. When I am upset, I need to talk about it with my best friend so that he can help me through. I need to ask God to lead us because we can't do everything by ourselves. That is okay. That is how it is supposed to be. We aren't made to be fiercely independent, but fiercely humble and trusting in Him and the people He has given to us.

TWELVE // Stay On Top of Cleaning Weekly

Cleaning everything weekly is really helpful. A clean home is a happy home. I know that I feel so much better when things are cleaned. Right now it doesn't take much for me to clean my house (and I am holding that close while I am childless), so staying on top is fairly easy. It makes me feel so much more relaxed! Just get her done, and enjoy that vacuumed carpet while the dogs toys are put away.

THIRTEEN // Routines are Your Best Friend

Getting into a good routine, no matter what area of life, is so helpful to reducing stress. It is also helpful in keeping skin problems under control (teen girls, if you don't have a solid skin routine, I beg you, please make one. Wash yo FACE). It makes you more productive. If you don't have a grove, get into one. It will totally help your stress and productivity levels.

FOURTEEN // Relationships Take Effort as an Adult, and They are Worth It

Relationships become harder to maintain as an adult, especially when you are married and you have to prioritize. However, they are worth it. Having a few good friends, near or far, makes life so sweet. It takes effort to set up time to hang out and call one another, but in the end, it is so worth it. Even if you have to not clean your house one Saturday to go eat breakfast with a friend, it should be done. (People > Houses)

FIFTEEN // Don't Marry Someone If They Aren't You're Best Friend

My husband is my best friend, hands down. If you are dating someone/talking about marriage to someone who isn't your absolute best friend, the relationship isn't going to last (maybe it will, but it won't be as good). Marrying my best friend is the best thing I've done!

SIXTEEN // DON'T WASH YOUR HAIR EVERYDAY!

I cannot believe I used to wash my hair every single day, I only wash my hair twice a week, and at times I feel that is a bit much too. It takes a few weeks to get used to it, but you really truly don't need to wash everyday. Start with every other day, then every two days, then eventually you will be down to once or twice a week. (It also saves so much shower time!)

SEVENTEEN // Knowing Your Priorities is Important; As Well as Being Flexible When They Change

I used to workout for two hours every day, 5-6 days a week. In the past two years that has changed. which I struggled with. Fitness used to be a priority (it still is in some aspects) but then my relationship got more serious and I wanted to put my now husband first, and that is OKAY. Your priorities will change over and over, learning to be flexible with that is vital.

EIGHTEEN // Coffee Helps

Coffee helps. It helps me be productive, it helps me feel better about my life. I realized recently that I felt so crappy because I wasn't drinking as much coffee. It is this a good thing? No. But it isn't something I'm going to change. I think I am a two cup gal. I'm definitely cheerier with a big ol' cup-a-joe in me.

NINETEEN // You Really Do Look Fine Without Make-Up

I used to really dislike what I looked like without make-up, but I've learned that I don't look like death without it even though I feel like I do sometimes. It also feels good to rub the heck out of your eyes, and you can't do that wearing make up. Even if people ask if you are sick, when you just aren't wearing make-up, don't worry about it. You like fine. Let your skin breathe.

TWENTY // I'm A Cryer, and Sometimes I'm Just Going to Cry

Sometimes I will just need to cry without a reason. Ugly, sobbing cry in the shower, with no real significant reason. That's just me. If that is you, too, just embrace it. I used to fight the crying part of myself and get angry when I didn't have a good reason for the tears (which made me cry more). Now it's like, I know I'll be due for a good cry in a few weeks.

TWENTY-ONE // God Gives Grace

Oh man oh man oh man. This is thee most important lesson of all. God. Gives. Grace. Then He gives more, and then He gives more. I went through a time where I literally did not want to live because sin and mistakes had control over me, I thought that I had ruined my life forever because of the sin I couldn't get rid of (in retrospect, the sin wasn't even that destructive). But. God Gives Grace. He washes it over my sin and my ugly, black heart constantly, daily. He will for you too, if you just ask Him. When your heart is turned toward God, and earnestly you seek His will, failing and making mistakes, God will not let it ruin your life. He gives grace before He gives pain. He gives grace before He gives death. He gives grace before He gives destruction. That is the most important thing I have learned in 21 years. God gives me grace.

What is one, significant lesson you have learned so far in your life? Whether you are 20, 16, 75, or 52, I know you have learned something valuable. Please share with me, so we can learn together!