Emotional? Guilt? Restless? Transitions? ?!?!?!
Hi friends!
Ahh, Thanksgiving is over and it is back to the real world for another few weeks until Christmas break (that is if you are lucky enough to have a two week vacation!). Although I am not too sad, because I missed my sweet girls so!
As I peeled myself from the sheets this morning and hurriedly got ready for another day at work, I realized I have so many feelings this week! Holidays are always filled with sentiment (I am very much sentimental) which I think played into my emotions, but it was also a first for me. A first Holiday spent married to my love. While it was our third to spend together, the things that come with the first married holiday stirred up a plethora of feelings. Feelings related to holidays and not. I thought I would share with you what has been going on in my mind good and bad!
Thanksgiving week was the first entire week my husband and I have been together all day, everyday since our honeymoon—and it was the best ever. It gave me a moment to remember how much I genuinely love spending time with my husband. It is crazy how much more fun we have together doing the little things when we aren’t completely exhausted from working all day every day. It was awesome to be able to watch movies, shop, play games and spend time with our families. I’m so glad we got a break and I can’t wait for the next one. It is THE. ABSOLUTE. BEST.
This Thanksgiving was a learning experience for me in that I had to learn how to be away from my own family. We stayed in town, but most of our time was spent with my in-laws. It was difficult for me in some ways, because I wanted to be with my family as well. This is a balance I wasn't at all expecting to be so difficult to maintain before marriage. We did spend Thanksgiving day with my parents which I am thankful for, but I couldn't help but feel sad when we spent time away from them. Like seriously, my heart ached because I wanted to spend time getting to know my in-laws better, but I also wanted to be with my family. It truly is a hard balance to achieve here in the beginning, but I continually reminded myself that there is nothing wrong with splitting time between the two sides of the family! I reminded myself that Christmas will be more focused on my family because we won't be having in-laws come to town. But let me tell ya, I was EMOTIONAL.
(My mother in law and brother in law!)
Going along with that, I felt a lot of unnecessary and unwarranted guilt this past week. This has been something else I have struggled with as a newlywed and I always feel RIDICULOUS about it. I (off and on) feel guilty for being an adult and having my own life. Like when Josh and I have our own plans, and then my family asks us to do something, I always feel riddled with guilt over not being able to do it! How ridiculous? We are an independent entity separated from our families and living our life, there is not a reason to feel guilty over it. Hopefully by speaking it out, I will stop feeling this way. I am just filled with this loyalty and dedication to helping my parents that I forget that it is sometimes okay to not be able to do everything with them.
I really hope that I am not alone in this...cause that would be awkward.
Sometimes I have so many feelings (sometimes? okay, let's be real, all the time) that I just need to talk about them!
Lessons learned?:
-Time with my husband is literally THE BEST
-Newlywed life has its challenges, but they are good challenges
-I don't have to feel guilty for being an adult???
Do you have struggles with these same things? I really hope I'm not alone in this! And just to clarify, I am so thankful for my life and more happy than I have ever been. I love both sides of our family equally and I wouldn't change anything about my life for the world! I just have had some struggles and am getting used to the new things that are my life.
BUT I LOVE IT!
Alright, that's it for today, just a random rambling of my feelings and struggles. Thanks for letting me vent!
AND
Thanks for reading, I appreciate YOU!
